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Writer's pictureRando Duncan

Santa is Getting a Bad Wrap

They say you can't believe everything you see online. Well, they are right...

Look at this chart about the environmental impact of Santa Claus - full of lies - I found today


Thats blasphemy, pure blasphemy I tell ya. They are trying to make my main man Santa out to have a Big Foot sized carbon footprint. Duncan is here to clear Santa's name and maybe get on the nice list this year by doing so!


Reindeer Waste-

Claim: Our 9 furry friends Comet, Dasher, Prancer, Vixen, Cupid, Dancer, Blitzen, Donner and Rudolph emit the equivalent of over 40,000 metric tons of carbon dioxide thru their waste

Reality: When I googled Reindeer Poop the results all look like recipes for no bake cookies probably because Reindeer Food is just oats, sprinkles and edible glitter.

Last I checked no bake cookies had a 0 carbon footprint.

Even if Santa chose to go electric with his sleigh it would need 9.3 million megawatts to get around the world in one evening.

Verdict: 0 metric tons Big win for the hooved haulers


Lumps of Coal - 

Claim: Based on a 20% naughty rate with each naughty child getting a lump of 6oz coal that would equal 75,000 metric tons of coal. Mining that coal would take the equivalent of around 38,000 metric tons of carbon dioxide. Another 194,000 metric tons of carbon dioxide would be released if that coal was burnt Christmas morning.

Reality: Back in 1987 my brother pushed me off my bike, gave me a wedgie at the bus stop and took all the mashed potatoes at dinner every Thursday night... he didn’t get coal, he still got gifts.

Verdict: 2,317 metric tons The naughty list may exist but it sure seems like it takes an awful lot to get on the list. The 20% naughty rate estimate is in reality a 0.2% rate. Therefore, decreasing the impact of the dreaded gift of coal by 100 times.


Toys -

Claim: The life cycle of the toys including the production, packaging and disposal of the toy adds the equivalent to 68.1 million metric tons of carbon dioxide.

Reality: I was watching the movie Elf to research this but it was too funny to remember why I started watching it.

Verdict: 68.1 million metric tons Sorry, Santa can't help you out on this one but who really wants a Christmas with no toys?


Milk and Cookies -

Claim: Milk and cookies at every house adds up to the equivalent of 8860 metric tons of carbon dioxide.

Reality: I don't remember Santa ever asking for those milk and cookies and I'm sure Mrs. Claus would rather him not eat all those delicious cookies but it would be rude of him not to.

Verdict: 0 metric tons This one is not on Santa.


Factory at the North Pole -

Claim: 983,000 metric tons of emissions come from Santa's "Nike" like factory

Reality: While the elves working at the north pole and the kids working at the Nike factories may be very close in height, that is where the similarities end. While traditional factories consume a bunch of electricity and emit a ton of pollutants, Santa's workshop is powered by windmills taking advantage of the high winds at the North Pole. Santa has been Zero Waste since 1653.

Verdict: 0 metric tons Ran from renewable energy the North Pole is more like the new Amazon headquarters in Virginia than the toxic factory it is being portrayed to be.


Wrapping Paper -

Claim: If each child were to receive 1 wrapped present from Santa the carbon dioxide equivalent for the disposal of the discarded wrapping paper would be almost 285, 000 metric tons.

Reality: That number is assuming everyone throws away their wrapping paper but if you have a Duncan Disposal recycling cart or recycling bin that wrapping paper can easily be recycled and turned into next years wrapping paper! As long as the wrapping paper doesn't have glitter or metallic on it we can recycle it for you! What a good way to get a head start on next year’s Nice List!

Verdict: 0 metric tons Smart shopping can help you find wrapping paper that can be used again and again.

 

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